Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Update

Martin Luther King Jr. Day Update.

11:34 am: Wake up in the midst of a 3 alarm toilet clog. Only toilet is irreparably damaged. Tony the Super is M.I.A.

12:17 pm: Embark on trip to Starbucks to make use of facilities and get coffee for myself and Brenda.

12:22 pm: Characteristically long line for Sbucks nasty bath. Wait in line.

12:35 pm: Still waiting! Really? Really. Staunchly defending my territory as the third person in line for the last 10 mins.

12:39 pm: 2 squares of toilet paper left. I save one for the little girl behind me. I have secured my place in Heaven.

12:42 pm: Leave Starbucks, drinks in hand.

12:47 pm: Make it past the first apartment building door before dumping Brenda’s cinnamon dulce coffee in its entirety into entry right in the threshold of second door. Climb 100 stairs for paper towels. Imagine lawsuits.

12:53 pm: Clean freezing coffee without a hitch. Walk down street with dripping paper towels, Starbucks bound. Forgot keys.

12:58 pm: Order same drink as 15 minutes prior. Guy in tracksuit from the bathroom line recognizes me. Glad I didn’t put real clothes or makeup on today. I see familiar people and realize that if they do recognize me, they must think I am someone’s assistant or a film PA who can only carry two coffees at a time (and doesn’t know about coffee holders) and must make a return trip. They are wrong. I do know about coffee holders, yet can only walk and carry one coffee at a time.

1:10 pm: Return to apartment and call Brenda to let me in. She can’t find my keys. I mourn the loss of my New York Public Library key card. And will someday also miss my gym membership key card, but right now, it’s only because they have a bathroom. Brenda lets me in.

1:15 pm: Sweat through shirt on the stairs. Enter apartment, rip coat off. Find my keys in the kangaroo pocket of the college sweatshirt plastered to my body. I am an idiot.


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