Happy New Year!

Here’s the straight story on this: New Years Day has a way of depressing me that I am pretty sure has to do with the elevated blood alcohol level on the planet. Everything is closed, everyone is hung over, it’s hard to get a pizza delivered in Little Italy and it feels like Earth is waking up with a slice of bread, an Advil and a Bible stacked on its bedside table, like I did the morning after Ash’s birthday party in London. (And maybe, it’s also swearing never to drink Goldschlager from a test tube again, but I digress.) 

It’s stupid to feel down on New Year’s Day because it’s the beginning of new things, so I decided to cut the crap and just relax about it. I went to a fun little dinner party in Brooklyn for NYE and rang in the New Year with good friends and waffles. Then I made it home without seeing a single person puke on the subway and I knew it was on. 2009. A very good year. 

To combat the blues, I decided not to make a list of resolutions but rather, hatched this ingenious plan to simply get the year started on the right foot on Jan 1. It involved getting up relatively early, maybe asking for directions and then actually going to the gym that debits my credit card monthly, or trying that yoga place I’ve wanted to go to. Maybe get brunch with friends? After that, and wait for it now:  I decided I’d possibly hit up the Container Store to grab a bulletin board and shelf. I know. Nothing says New Years like the Container Store. Do not be fooled: This is a resolutions list parading around as a to-do list. Cliche. Unimaginative! All in an attempt to feel awake and alive in a world that I felt was probably in the kitchen chugging a Gatorade in its skivvies and preparing to make its next Facebook album.

In the end, I did none of these things.

Primarily because I woke up sounding like a 90 year old with a history of smoking. A bad cold. So instead, I took it easy. Ate a leisurely breakfast, surfed the web in bed, and decided to go out and rent a movie, which I would have done sooner, had I not sat up to discover that I had been sitting lying on an open ballpoint pen which was slowly yet productively bleeding thick black ink through every layer of my sheets. How?

ink spot 2009

ink spot 2009

I want to say I have no idea, but the logistics here are far from baffling: I had a pen which I must have had a mind to use until I dropped it and failed to go looking for it, which of course is a testament to my uncanny ability to focus. It gravitated to the whitest, most absorbent and only surface below me, and proceeded to ralph its contents out while I was none the wiser. There’s no mystery here. I watch CSI. The resulting shock on my face was unprecedented.

Where is a Bic when you need one? You basically have to pay those things to produce ink on paper and here I am sitting on an oil well determined to seep through a mattress. Woe.

Despite this minor setback (and the fact that the movie store was closed) the first day of the year was a happy one for me. There was no way I was going to the Container Store anyway. With their Elfa shelving sale going on? You must be crazy. That place was probably a zoo of good intentions. And I couldn’t speak as it was. And was dealing with a code black situation on my sheets. If that ink had gotten on my Westie dog jammies, there would have been hell. to. pay. But it didn’t, which is a good sign for 2009. I read the ink spot and it’s telling me that 2009 is the year I get my act together. No more sitting on pens for this girl. Scratch that off the list.

2009: The year Sarah gets her act together. And buys new sheets.

Here’s to a happy, healthy new year!


2 Responses to “Happy New Year!”

  1. Jaci Bounds Says:

    I wish I could experience your life for a day! You make me smile and laugh all the time! Love you!

  2. R. Benjamin Says:

    Whether it was a “to-do” list, or a “resolutions” list, writing a blog entry was on it. so your day was more productive than most people’s.

    p.s. Nice picture.

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